Don't call them the "Z" word.

Welcome back to another edition of 'Meet the Resident's'. I am kind of freaking out here, when I was given this assignment and told I would be interviewing a Zombie I was both scared and excited. I quickly found out not to say the 'Z' word, they don't like that!

Without further ado, let's get started.


Silver: Let's start with the question that most fascinates me. How old are you?

Derrick: I am 350 Years old. A man in my prime if you will.

Silver: You look great for your age, not a grey hair to be seen. When and why did you move to Black Hollow?

Derrick: My family has been here since the town’s inception. Not many places for people with silver skin to hide really.

Silver: I never thought I would say this, but I think your skin is beautiful. I don't know why people pay for tans, your color is way better! (Clears throat) But anyway, what job do you have in Black Hollow?

Derrick: I am the current owner of the Rotten Meatball (Silver holds back a gagging face) the best Italian food you will ever eat!

Silver: Um...I don't really no what to say to that so next question. What is the last book you read? Did you enjoy it?

Derrick: I enjoy reading what you humans call the classics. I just reread Dracula, I love seeing how Paranormals are portrayed. Though I am not a fan of the books about Zombies. They are just wrong on so many levels.

Silver: Maybe you should write Zombie books and give everyone a better way to look at your kind? (Derrick shrugs). Do you have an embarrassing habit?

Derrick: I micromanage the restaurant. I can’t help it, I get bored.

Silver: What grosses you out?

Derrick: I am not sure I want to share this with the residents of Black Hollow, it might look bad… Okay. I hate the smell and look of seafood. When it’s the special I hide and don’t come out of my office.

Silver: (Silver laughs) You don't like the idea of eating something that swims in it's own shit? (Derrick makes a disgusted face). Enough torture, next question, Boxers, Briefs or Commando?

Derrick: Does Cade know you asked everyone this question?

Silver: Is that your way of deflecting instead of answering? (Derrick shrugs). Tell me about the last time you cried.

Derrick: When we realized Great Grandfather Horace started showing signs of the curse. He’s only 700, far to young for it to hit.

Silver: I'm sorry about your Great Grandfather. (Derrick nods in acknowledgement). What is something you feel guilty about?

Derrick: (Pausing while he stared off into space) Not searching harder or longer for the reason behind the curse or how to end it. I am tired of watching my family waste away.

Silver: You're still young, you have time right? What is your greatest regret?

Derrick: Same answer as what I feel guilty about. I should have been researching as soon as I understood what was coming for me.

Silver: What is the evilest thing you have ever done?

Derrick: There was a particularly nasty tourist in the Rotten Meatball a few weeks ago. Complained about all the food, the decorations even the town. How pathetic we were for acting like it was Halloween year round. So I played some games with her, I let Horace out of the attic. Let him shamble through the dining room moaning. She took off running from the restaurant, her friends right behind her. I guess it was only fair I ate the cost of their dinner.

Silver: I don't blame you for scaring her off, what a bitch! Even if all of htis was fake, who cares, I think this town is awesome. If you could change one thing from your past what would it be and why?

Derrick: My past in particular or the past that affects me? My past…. Spend more time with family members before they got the effects of the curse. My family's past.. Getting cursed at all.

Silver: Do you think redemption is possible? Why or Why not?”

Derrick: Not for everyone. I will never forgive the wizard who cursed my family. Nothing justifies it and nothing will ever be forgiven.

Silver: If you could choose how would you want to die?

Derrick: Quick and painless. No slow deterioration while my family and friends hide me away and mourn.

Silver: If you were to die and come back as any person or thing, who or what would it be and why?

Derrick: You do know you are asking a Zombie right?

Silver: Do you have a funny story about something you did or saw someone do to

a human visiting or living in Black Hollow?

Derrick: Not one story, I love listening in on tourists conversation about events and the creatures they see as they travel around Black Hollow. Most love the quirkiness and embrace us. Those are the ones I want to come back and love our town.

Silver: Have you ever been in love?

Derrick: No, I am not sure I want to ever fall in love. Subjecting someone else to my curse. Watching me one day turn into a shambling moaning zombie. No, that wouldn’t be fair to them.

Silver: That sounds lonely. Let's pretend then, what is the perfect romantic date?

Derrick: Someone’s else's.

Silver: Okay, let's say you did want to fall in love, describe your perfect partner:

Derrick: I have never thought about it, why dream about something you won't take for yourself?

Silver: So I guess that means you don't want children?

Derrick: No, any children we have are “Zombies” they inherit the curse and I will not put that on anyone else.

Silver: I'm sorry about what's been done to you. (Silver clears his throat). What unusual interest or hobby do you have?

Derrick: A fun question finally, I actually collect signed books. I love reading and visit the library frequently. The ghosts are quite trying when looking for a book and getting them reshelved so someone else can find it! Ugh, but I do love to read and buy signed copies on the internet frequently.

Silver: What are you most afraid of?

Derrick: Turning 700

Silver: If you had one wish what would it be and why?

Derrick: Simple turn 1000 and die peacefully never having been cursed.


Thank you for taking the time to speak with me. Italian is one of my favorite types of food so I have a feeling you will be seeing a lot of me!

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